The Grandness of the Subtle Gesture

Posted on Mar 2, 2011

Previously posted in Good Vibrations Magazine. Enjoy!

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’ve been observing and asking around about how people pamper their partners. People are tickled to share how they intend to focus their affections on their lovers. I love to listen and always am entertained by the answers: expansive boxes of chocolate, a double dozen of roses, the candlelit dinner at the swank restaurant, even diamond earrings! So far most of my friends haven’t surprised me with their gestures. They’re pretty predictable albeit lovely and indulgent treats.

I think any gesture of love is a beautiful gesture, so kudos to any lover who takes the time to gather up the gifty booty. I will admit, however, that it’s the quirky and offbeat gifts that get my attention; the kind of presents that can only come from someone who knows your inner workings, your secret desires.

When I really get nosy, which is a regular occurrence, I enjoy eliciting the special gestures shared by partners, like the carnapping and changing of a partner’s car tires, the secret prepaying of a partner’s hair styling or sneaking a homemade meal into a partner’s refrigerator. So precious! Those are the gifts that really make me smile and make me think. Included in these gestures, of course, are those people aren’t as willing to share: the sexy pampering behind-closed-doors gestures. Those are always a delicious win!

Along with preferring uniquely inspired gestures, my partner and I tend not to be focused on hitting the target of an actual holiday like Valentine’s Day. We are more of the persuasion that the random, surprise gesture has more impact.

The other day I forgot to make myself coffee before leaving in the morning. I was heading from dropping the kiddos off at school straight to another appointment with no time to indulge in a coffee stop. When I arrived at the appointment crestfallen about having to function without caffeine until the afternoon, there was my hottie in the parking lot with my favorite coffee!

To any other person in my life, bringing me a coffee would seem to be a rather mundane gesture. The difference is my partner knows how much I enjoy my morning coffee ritual, to the point of obsession really. He knows that about me, loves me in spite of it and even is willing to take time out of his intense schedule to deliver it to me!

That subtle gesture when I least expected it was genius, so thoughtful and simple and focused on me. He also knows that I can often feel like I am catering to everyone else around me all the time, so doing something for me that was just about me really hit the target. That target could really only exist in his mind because he is the one I tell when I am feeling rushed and underappreciated, invisible even.

The grandness of that subtle gesture is now legendary in my mind. The feeling I still have from that simple coffee delivery has me constantly thinking about how I might even come close to such a beautiful, thoughtful gift. Knowing him like I do, I have some ideas, but I haven’t settled on one yet. Actually, I hope to brainstorm many different ideas and keep a list handy for the days I know he needs to know how much I love and appreciate him. What better way to demonstrate your love than on a day your lover needs it most in a way that only you could conjure and only they could truly appreciate?

With that said, in the wake of Valentine’s Day, I challenge you to get creative with your gestures of love. Make them unique. Make them random. Make them inspired.